So I haven't updated in a while. Although, I think about things I would like to write through out the week, it just seems they don't get written.
I just finished pumping and was pretty upset at myself because I only pumped a half an ounce total. I have never pumped so little. I know why I only pumped that half an ounce. I let my weekends throw my pumping schedule all off. I allow social obligations to screw with my schedule. Not to say that I shouldn't have a social life but that I need to be more firm in my decision to pump every two hours for fifteen minutes. Pumping is very important to me and I feel like I have been allowing myself to push back the times that I pump so as not to inconvenience anyone else. Unfortunately I am just going to have to stand firm in my decision and the people that I hang out with will either understand or they won't.
I feel like I have been pretty irritable on and off this last week. I think the headaches that I have been having on and off daily for the past two weeks has something to do with it. Little things are bothering me and I don't want them to. It reminds me of when I drank and smoked. I want to remain calm. I think maybe I just need to get out of the house and hang out with someone besides just Bailey and Rodney. Not that I don't love them dearly but I need some me time. Even when I am in the house all day long I am focused on making sure the house is clean for them, cleaning up after them, preparing meals for them and doing their laundry. So by the time that they get home I have already given all my energy to them and they still want more because they don't realize how much I have already given. In a way I am looking forward to going back to work just so that I can get away from having to do all that all day long. I will be able to share the work load with Rodney.
Baby Lamb turned a month old on last Friday, my how time flies! I was able to view some updated photos of him that his mommy posted on Picasa. They were absolutely beautiful. His hair is turning more and more strawberry blond every time I see a new picture. I think it is so awesome because it looks so much like his mommy's hair! He still has those big bright blue eyes that I find so fascinating. Bailey's have always been that beautiful chocolate brown. His mommy told me he had a check up on his one month birthday and he weighed 9lbs 5oz. I like to think my donating the breast milk has helped with that, so I like to think anyway. :)
Money is tight as always and I just keep praying for a miracle. It feels like we are starting over from scratch which is disappointing. I won't begin to tell you our financial troubles, just suffice it to say they suck. Thank God, Bailey isn't old enough to realize how broke we really are. After speaking with my employer today about the possibility of me going back to school though I am feeling a bit more optimistic. She informed me that Chattahoochee Tech's courses are cheap enough to be covered by the Pell Grant and Hope Grant which I qualify for. I think I might have to just go back sooner and make it happen. I can't be on my way to 25 and still be living like this.
My walking daily has been thrown for a loop because the ghetto people who live in my neighborhood have taken the little magnet that you have to have to use the treadmill. Not having the right shoes for walking or running outside I have started walking inside to one of my tapes. It's not really the same though. I am thinking of just taking one of my refrigerator magnets down to the gym and seeing if that works. My not running might have something to do with my grouchiness too.
I think that is about it, other than those minor things we are doing well. Life goes on, the wheel keeps on turning and I keep handing these problems of mine to God who in turn sorts them out for me.